another Thursday

I can't help but forgive the winter now that it is summer at the lake. It is beautiful and sweet there this last week. There are two boys about 9 or 10 that I see often on their bikes. It must be heaven for them to have a friend to play with at this great summertime location. I remember my boys as boys when I see them.... and I almost just almost forgive the winter lake...

New aging health drama--my eyes. I went to the eye dr only because my glasses are scratched to a place where it is difficult to see beyond and my perscription is slightly changed and he wants to know don't I really rather have bifocals? NO! I want to be young again and see well and easily and not see what I don't want to see... And then he looks at the health of my eyes. Shit! Oh its not just tears of grief all these times, its also a problem with my eyes. And now that I've started the cure oh God NOW they burn and hurt and I know it is like most healing things, it will get worse first before it gets better.

So far no job after this ends. One interview next week. Unemployment stilll sounds yummy until I think of what I have to do without if I don't have $. Like travel to Allentown, buying sprees in Grafton Walmart (hehe) and oh geez, I already stopped buying clothes and shoes a while ago and no $ to save fro retirement like Leslie is always badgering er encouraging me to do.

Today I shall work then get a massage and Maddie invited me yet again for coffee and this time I can and so I shall. I love her raw energy and youngness and how she likes me. I am still always pleasantly surprised when someone I like likes me.

Harold has been practicing his massage on my neck and shoulders lately and I don't know how I got so blessed to be where I am in life but I hope I deserve it. Of course that doesn't stop me from wanting to be young and beautiful again--