Monday

Tears tears tears
They just don't stop. Not completely true. They come and go.

I blame and blame even knowing this is an inside job, my happiness. Its all these situations around me that create my unhappiness.

So then I get up this morning and in he ODAT I read "Alanon is a 24 hour program. This gives us the comforting assurance that we need not to burden ourselves with the woes of the past, nor anticipate those that may come in the future. I will always keep in mind that today is my sole concern, and that I will make it as good day as I can."

I moved to WV. I made that choice. My son died of his disease. Nothing I could do then or before then could change that. Nothing since. It is not my husband's fault or Nik's or the lousy meetings or or my job or or the weather..or . I alone determine what kind of day I will have today. Today I live Monday. I don't want to tho. I want to live the middle of April or back to when my kids were little and not walk out that marriage or or or future or past---I want to change SOMETHING so I feel ok today.