TGIF

Friday Friday oh Thank God its a Friday.
Not that I have time off you understand, I have to work 7-4 tomorrow and then off to Charleston for 3 days. I know I know, I should be grateful to have work. And I got a raise too. Very cool.

Wednesday is Lonny's birthday. He would have been 25. Lately I've had sweet memories of him as a young young child. Some memories too of taking him to his first AA meeting and to intake for Rehab after his first jail time. Wish he could have stuck. He might have been alive if he's stayed in the NA meetings he found he liked better than the AA ones. Damn its hard some days.

And the guilt I have to try to keep at bay.

Well, one day at a time. One moment at a time sometimes. I'm grateful today that I am not trying to find a way to die and that I am not trying to find a way out of my marriage lately.
I'm not sure how to live thru Wednesday but I've lived thru his funeral, thru Thanksgiving and Christmas and even Mother's Day. I'll find a way I hope to honor him and see his life as a gift somehow. Gonna make some cakes for my AA meeting. That's next Friday. But HArold is out of town next weekend and I'm not sure I want to be alone.