After a weekend

Anonymous said...
Perception is everything, right or wrong ~ and hindsight is 20-20. Remember that before you take leaps, to take less judgemental and more rational leaps ~

Whoever wrote this: I at first wanted to do a whole lot of 'xplainin' about how long I've been at that meeting and that my sponsor and I talked about it. Looks like I still want to. But all I will say is thank you for your insight and for sharing it with me. I appreciate your caring enuff to write to me. Thank you. And of course I would love to know who you are... uztabwild@hotmail.com if you want to--if you don't I can accept that.


Had an experience yesterday that shook me up. I decided to not go to the institution meeting on Saturday. Rationalized and justified not going because I am doing Alanon EVERY Sat this month and I DESERVED a Sat off. So my hubby and I took our biclycles on the rail trail. Sunday at the grocery store checking out a woman behind me cranes her nack to see my face, touches my arm and says she wants to hug me. I figured I must have met her in Alanon somewhere---but she whispers thank you for saving my son's life. What?? Afer I looked at her I said , Josh? He's ok?

I was a replacement for someone at a Family Day for the women's halfway house here in town. I try to never say no to service. I was on a panel. I don't know what I said I was so hurting and in grief/shock and denial still I'm sure. A young man, tall dark handsome came up to me and told me how he was doing the same thing my son was. Oh you know I wanted tto take him in my arms, make him safe and and save him. I knew better than to do anything except suggest he get help and where he might got help. I went out to my car and cried and cried.

Some time afterwards I saw Josh at my Fri nite open AA meeting and he said he was looking for me to tell me he had his 30 day chip. I hugged him and hugged him went to my car and cried and cried.

When Lonny's birthday came around last July what I wanted was to find him and Johnny and take them to dinner. But I didn't.

I hadn't forgotten those boys, special young men both fighting addiction. I prayed for them recently. I haven't seen them in the rooms but they mostly were going to NA meetings not the AA. And then yesterday, Josh's Mom and oh I'm crying yet again. I often said for many years that I couldn't help my son, some stranger would. It never occured to me that I might be that stranger for someone else's son. I WANTED MY SON TO LIVE

I hope I never forget why I go to institution meetings and that when I am supposed to be there--I go. I never know what God has in store for me or for someone else when I do His Will instead of my own.