hump day Wednesday

Attended church at lunchtime. Thought it was a service but its a bible study with our participation. Now I believe in a Higher Power, God I say but beyond that I'm just not sure. Maybe thats why I'm so drawn to church lately, to find out what I believe. I have such distorted perceptions of so many things. But it was nice and I did participate--he asked easy questions. Looking back since Lonny died one thing I regret is that we all stopped going to SS and church after the seperation and divorce. Not only did the divorce hurt my kids but losing a spiritual connection hurt us all.

Changing my home group from Monday nite to Wednesday. Means I have to drive 30 minutes south to get there but I want to be in a group where people talk about the Steps not therapy. Its the same reason I drive 30 minutes north for a meeting. Not too far of lengths to go to get to be in the recovery I need. I need to be with long timers who are willing to suit up show up do service and share. Critical judgemental me-- but I've heard myself saying often lately--they'll either grow or go--

Looking forward to step daughter Emily coming to spend the next couple nights. Wish she was bringing the baby but it'll be nice to get to know her a little more. Hope I behave well--I think thats another way to say I hope she likes me, geez why does it have to matter so much that I be liked?