belonging

So what it is--- I've been feeling so isolated. I suppose its just me creating it. Sometimes its just seems that how could anyone understand? I should be past all this grief by now. But once again the pain rears up and kicks me in the heart.

How in the world can a death that occurred 24 years ago today be so now right here in this moment? How can I still miss her and I still so often feel so alone. My grandma died Jan 17th.

You might think that because my grief is still so in my face cause of Lonny that might be why I grieve my Gram so today. But is been the same for all these years. I never seem to get up to this date without withdrawing or maybe its called drawing inward.

I'm so weary of grief.

So its a joyful life road full of potholes of grief. The few I let in are so far away and I'm lonely and scared tonite. Ahhh this too shall pass. Thanks MC for reaching in. And SC who reined in some sun for me today, what a gal! I'm so blessed to be a part of this community---thank you