Monday Monday

Got Mamas and Papas song in my head after reading Pam's post.

My Monday mornings seem to fly. Hell, most days do. Thats a good thing I guess.

I relaxed quite a bit this weekend. September may be a hellish travel and working & education month but I'm not in Sept yet. Its just the end of July.

Last night a newcomer went with me to my home group meeting. God is she confused and hurting. I did real good with loving detachment, just give Alanon a chance most of the time. I sure am glad I have cleared up some of the wreckage of my past. And that I see that I have choices way more often than I used to see 'em. My thinking used to be so limited.

I did have a difficult moment when someone in the meeting mentioned how the domestic violence in her home got worse before it got better. In my mind she is lucky to be alive and I hope, wish and pray that no one, no one has to let DV get worse before it gets better. I know once I started allowing feelings to flow up and out I really wanted to believe what they told me that if I let 'em up and out I would feel better. They told me it would get worse berore it gets better. They (in the meetings and fellowship) were right I did eventually begin to feel better. My feelings don't kill me, its what I often did when I had feelings that could have killed me.

Anyway back to Domestic Violence. No one has the right to hit me. I believe no one has the right to pysically harm anyone else for any reason but it is not about me and others have to make those choices for themselves. All I can do is show there are options and choices, ask 'em to pray and then I get out of the way and pray a whole lot.

God, its so hard to get out of the way sometimes. I remembered Lila this morning and how she died as the result of DV. She's the only woman I knew personally who dided from DV. I don't want there to be any others. Yup, I am scared. For her, for KJ. For the choices she's already made and the ones to come. Guess God has her in my life for a reason and that I always always learn something when He puts 'em in my life. Is the lesson that it ALL really really is in His Hands? Why do I ever question that premise? It is ALL really really is in His Hands. And sometimes He uses me to get 'em out of harms way. Sometimes. I pray she stays safe during this troubling time.