10 miles

hot and humid night but I seemed to need some activity so we went on a bike ride. First time all summer I did 10 miles. And then what? Everyone else in the world was at the ice cream stand and we couldn't wait cause I have a 9pm call to take. God was doing for me what I can not do for myself! I am allergic to dairy and I feel bad for days afterwards. So now I don't ahve to feel bad physically.

Hey I wrtoe to the Wrigley people and asked them just why they now have aspartame in all their gums. I miss gum. They told me 2 I could chew without the aspartame--Big Red and Freedent Winterfresh. I hate all these allergies. But they didn't offer to send me any coupons. Oh well.

I didn't do so well on my ebay sales this week. I'm a failure. Ok, that might be a bit extreme I'm not a failure. But it stops me from wanting to keep on trying to sell. I'll try one more round of clothes and I have all these Arbonne products I completely lost my mind on in the beginning and overbought of course.

Yes, I want to change the subject. I am weary of hurting. Life goes on. I don't know how it goes on at the moment but it goes on. I talked to an Alanon friend this afternoon. She said this family needs me. I'm not sure about that. Talked to one of my closest AA friends here in town. I let it out of the bag how scared I was the last time I saw her go back out. She said she knows I love her. And I do. I love people who have this dreaded disease. She picked up her 2 year chip Monday nite she said. Wow--2 years. I remember the day I saw the light go on in her eyes and her surrender made her so much softer---what a miracle. There are miracles I know there are miracles and hope I know there is hope it just seems so far away sometimes.