when

thank you Pam

When I knew better, I did better. I do better today I know I do.

Found some great pics of me and my Grandma, my Mom young, Lonny smiling that huge smile he had, Nik in hats and costumes and so many pics of so many days gone by. Amazing how I remember names and have such strong feelings associated with some. Debbie. Debbie & I shared a path for a time. I didn't know how much she meant to me then. I do now. Oh, I did finish the box last night instead of tv. Now I have to do something with all those piles of pics. So many slices of my life and my boys lives...

Found a few of me. See I was usually the one behind the camera hiding so I don't have many of me. Its so incredible how I used to perceive myself as fat and ugly. Those sure were the feelings I had on the inside---I mean my feelings felt ugly. I always thought I was fat and I wasn't. Makes me question my perception of myself today. It is probably distorted cause I still feel fat and when I look around I am not. But when I compare to when I was young....key might be to not compare.

Church today. Afternoon to do household chore neglected yesterday inside to be outside.

Todays God calling so so cool about calm---maybe I do have some recovery! I can be so hard on me. But not today. Today I dress becomingly, go to church and be of service there. Be of service to my group tonite. Living and letting live. Loving those who will let me. Enjoying today, hope you can too---enjoy your today.