invasion of ladybugs

Came home to ladybugs. They are supposed to be lucky and I am hoping they are.

I got to the Lehigh Valley to discover my exhusband Brad had fallen down the steps in his home and was in IU with an extensive skull fracture. He is unconscious and on a respirator. He is also detoxing from alcohol. Nik seems to be ok--he doesn't seem to be comfortable talking to me about his dad. But I find he is talking to some in a safe place and I'm grateful he has somewhere to go with his feelings and pain. Its only 2 years this month that he lost his brother and it sure seems like a lot for a 23 yr old to have to handle in addition to a wife, daughter, job, house, etc. Please send up your prayers for Brad, Nik and their families.

Chick to Chick was a wonderful conference of AA and Alanon women--129 of us I believe were there. I was blessed to be there this particular weekend and surrounded with recovery and love. I have so much inside to share about this weekend and the love. So many insights and a wonder of spiritual awakening during a walk in a labrynth there---even if I did it during the day and not during the full moon. I also got to be of service in so many ways and wow---how great it was to just be able to be me and be of service. Lots of tears. Great great speakers and so many beautiful inside and outside women. How awesome to see the light come on in some eyes and to hear of turn arounds of attitudes. It was awesome. The board, committee, whatever you want to call it---they did just an awesome job for us. I discovered once again that I am not alone in my pain nor my joy. I am so very grateful.

I am also grateful to have learned from my grief and my pain how to be there for others in their pain and grief. Altho I would have had it be different and have Lonny live, my life has been enriched and I have a new level of confidence and maturity I didn't have before.

Oh yes, I am still afraid to talk to some people and still find myself in awe of them and their level of spirituality. But I prayed to find a way to just talk, o just be worthy and mature enough to talk to one woman in particular and I found myself in a position to just chat with her. Yes, no deep conversation---just chat! wow Later in the weekend I found God working thru me for her and she pulled me aaside to tell me how---I am so in awe of how God can work. And its another rock story-- I'll tell it maybe another time. Not that I think I need to hold it close, I'm just really tired. And I need to get off the phone line, one of my girls, her mom went in the hospital this weekend while we were gone--

If you pray-- please do. Thanks


I am tired.