teary Tuesday
This could be a tough month for me so I'm just gonna do what I need to do to get thru each 24 hours and I've heard that each night I get to end the day.
Saw Johnny yesterday. Was a surprise. I thought of him the other day and there he was standing a few feet away. We chatted. He's clean and sober for 2 and 1/2 years now. I met him about 6 months before Lonny died. I asked about Josh while holding my breath. Josh is good, still clean too. Once again I went out to my car and cried because my son couldn't stop, couldn't get clean or sober and ended up dying at the age of 24 2 years ago this month. But once again I was happy for a couple of young men whose lives have touched mine so far have been able to. Can't write about it, can't think about it any more now---gots to work.
posted by Mama Dukes @ 11:43 AM
6 Comments:
You're doing good, Sweetie! Hang in there and be happy about the good memories.
Love you!
I'm so sorry... so sorry. I lost a son, too, but as a baby 30 years ago last month. It is nothing compared to your loss. I know, I have a 27-year-old son that I'm hoping, hoping, doesn't have the kind of problem his father has finally admitted to having... A mother's love, at least a normal mother's love is so strong...
Oh, yes, it's okay to cry and grieve, grieve, grieve! Just be sure to take care of yourself in the process, go to meetings, call your sponsor and/or program friends, and check in with your HP every day, or better yet, something I haven't learned to do yet, all day long. Love ya already!!
Sit back, I am gonna ask you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, allow your lungs to fill, then release it slooooooowly.
Ok, do it, should only take a brief moment . . .
. . . did you feel it? I hugged your soul. I love you. I am so grateful to have you in my life, and it hurts my heart when you are hurting. So, one more time, close your eyes, take a deep breath . . .
My prayers are with you..
My prayers too.
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