not good idea to tell an Alanon to go control....

Daily Capricorn Forecast
Quickie: You know what you're doing, so don't hesitate to take control and push things along.

Overview: Binding agreements and long-term situations are looking pretty good to you right about now. The stars say plans put in place today will grow beyond your wildest dreams. It's time to plant your dreams for the future.

I don't know what I'm doing most of the time. Just putting on foot in front of the other and doing what is right in front of me to do and asking to get my self will pride and ego out of the way. I still do alot of non focus activities like staring out the window or losing my momentum on a project throwing up my hands and going to cook something make yogurt or granola instead. I want to work a full day for a full days pay since I do have to work. I love what I'm doing and I was told earlier this week that I am good at it---affirmations on a presentation I did months later---oh well its good I don't usually base my self esteem outside myself or look for approval. I am just plowing on just moving. Its good to keep moving.

I loved God Calling today, now if I could just remember what it was--- oh yeah pour forth pour forth pour forth and don't stagnate. But to stop and be calm. Perhaps thats what happens when I get what I consder unfocused---I'm finding the calm the connection to spirit and the what and why I am doing whatever it is.

I hate TV. It grabs ahold of me and even tho it does not fill me up I can't seem to pull away from it. I am so sorry we got the cable. I brought a rocking chair up to a bedroom so I can read or write instead. I hate blood and gore and guts and thats what was on Grey's Anatomy last night. I know its just a show but I find it disturbing to see blood and guts before bedtime. And furthermore I flunked anatomy twice in my younger smoking pot in the gamelands days. But I digress oh please! I can't follow a storyline while I'm covering my eyes. So hoping to find ways to navigate life with a tv in the house and not allow it to be all consuming of my time. Time to get some hobby out again!

So, what are my plans and dreams for the future? To be healthy and not depressed, A Master degree, a fellowship to give to here in WV, $ to travel to see family & friends, for my kids and grandkids to have a spiritually and physically healthy lifetime filled with love and laughter.

How come I can't just want lots of $, a big house an expensive car that will get me up this damn hill and beautiful clothes? Ah, the material means so little since Lonny died.

Plans in my experience since Alanon means I make plans God laughs and says no, I want you to learn this instead. But its in Alanon where I learned to plant my dreams and my sponsor and others help me nourish them then sometimes they grow, sometimes I get stuck.

Looking into an Organizational Leadership graduate online program available thru a college in VA, the transformation specialists/life coach Tony recommended I check. Of course I looked at it and immediately thought no no I can't. I printed out the courses, looked again and am easing into the possiblilites. Read small steps.

Hope your day today is one to enjoy (even if the sun don't shine!) and your weekend filled with love, laughter and joy.