self pity

Our town had a water crisis earlier this month. We had to conserve and boil water. When they lifted the water ban our pipes froze and we just got water flowing yesterday again. Its been a few long weeks without water here.

I found myself one day feeling sorry for myself being without water here in our townhouse. I don't know how or why but all of a sudden I remembered only I could change my attidtude and instead of feeling sorry for myself I could be grateful. Our friends left for FL the last day of Jan and asked if we would like to stay in their home until they returned the end of Feb. Their home is on the rail trail where we would love to live, so we already had arrangements for somewhere to stay this month other than the townhouse. I didn't cause that to happen that way---God did!
So I found gratitude for having a nice place to stay on the rail trail that did not have a water problem while our townhouse water problem was being solved.

I read in either the Big Book or the 12x12 the other day how anger, self pity and depression were all due to emotional insecurity. This program of recovery, being able to go to meetings, having a sponsor, working the Steps all lead me toward being emotionally secure. I ahve a GOd that provides for me whatever I need. Of course sometimes I have to wait longer than I'd like or get what I really need instead of what it is I want.

Couple years ago I found myself in self pity and depression daily. What I did then was search for things to be grateful for. The best solution at that time was calling newcomers. Geez, I thought I had it bad---these newcomers were trying to deal with alcoholism afecting their lives and they didn't have a program or tools yet! I ALWAYS felt better about where I was in life after talking to a newcomer.

I do what I can to take contrary actions. When I feel most negative is when I have to act my way into positive. The feelings always seem to follow. I am truly blessed and loved.