Thursday
A running errands kind of day today. I'm in Charleston (WV) all next week--yup an entire week. Lots to plan and prepare as well as live thru the next few days. Looking forward to the noon meeting. I'm glad my schedule permits a daytime meeting.
I'm uncomfortable wit me the last few days. I think its that I'm taking personally how others respond to me. I'v been taught to reach out to newcomers--I call 'em and invite them to other meetings. So I do that. I suppose I still have the expectation they will continue to return my calls, show up at meetings and want this thing (recovery) offered in Alanon. When they don't want it, its not about me Its about them and I do know that. So why the disappointment?
The other dissappointment for me here is having had a taste of a different ind of Alanon and Alanon fellowship I want it here, I want more and it doesn't exist here and it has not grown up around me. Not completely true cause it has grown around me from time to time in the last 5 or so years. Not that it sticks.
If I'm lonely I suppose I have a part in it. n God Calling yesterday it talked about being different as if it is ok, a good thing. Sometimes what I'm called to do seems so isolating instead of connecting. I know I know I am not unique but I am different--a transplant to WV, a Big Book Alanon. And it was my chice to leave my hometown where I seemd to know someone everywhere I went.
I guess today I will pray for the power, courage and grace to do God's Will and to be humble enuff to just do what is in front of me and stop wanting more. Life is good. I have more than I ever dreamed possible. Guess it time to reach out beyond the borders of this town, maybe the state, make more outreach calls not less. Yeah I know what needs to be done--
posted by Mama Dukes @ 8:00 AM
6 Comments:
What you wrote was the way that I felt yesterday. Feeling alone and realizing that it was the expectations that I was placing on others that was creating that. I also wish that there was more Al-Anon fellowship. Starting the coffee time after the meeting has been a way to get to know people and many seem to like it. Sometimes it is up to us to reach out and keep reaching until we grasp something.
I hear you on reaching out to others, it can be tough sometimes. I am not a big 'phone-talker' person. I am a work in progress., Somedays I have to fight with my sh*tty committe to reach out, somedays I even help that person by calling them...ya never know...Peace and serenity and HUGS to you Christine!
Being in a different place is hard. (I read God Calling every day too)
I know how you must have felt. I felt it too. I talked about it in my post. I tried to reach out but... It's ok. Life must go on. I tried to make not my problem.
I just came back to let you know I have added you to my links...OK?
Keep having the courage to reach out. Some are not ready, lots of fear going on. However for those ready, they will embrace your love and help. Keep doing what you are doing and I trust some day you will have more of an acceptance to your continous efforts in heling others.
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