life and death

I had a voicemail message last night that JT was born. Mother and baby doing well.

Got a call this morning aobut Jane, a woman I know in PA Alanon, her son dies this weekend.

Prayers for both please.

I want a different story than the one God has given me to tell. I know it is a blessing to be able to tell my story and there will be healing but its a whole lot of pain to be in right now. People were kind. I got an email this morning on how my story touched 2 people. But I can't seem tohelp it, I want my son back and have a different ending for him--then I remember my ending is different--a transformatioin has a occurred within me that self knowledge, fighting, defiance and old ways of thinking and behaving never got me.

There were tapers there and they gave me a copy of the CD immediately afterwards. I'm not ready to listen to it--I am in pain and I already haven't been able to stop beating myself for forgetting to say thank you to those who asked me to be there and to the comittee.

Lots to do. My voice lost yesterday is back and I am healthier than I've been in some time. Oh, I hit the outlets on the way up there--BUT DID NOT buy anything so nothing to return this time! Lots to do--enjoy your today and the blessings you can see, hear, touch and taste.