drama queen I am

I am a drama queen.
One day I am going to be a bag lady in a wheelchair. (Translation: my arm hurts and I live on a hill, go ahead, try to figure that one out)
My sister will never speak to me again and I am so bad to have done something so unforgivable.(Translation: she won't do what I want her to do and tell me what I have done and then forgive me)
I will have to spend the rest of my life in WV. ( Translation: I've still got one foot out the door and he still won't move to PA and do what I want him to do)
I don't fit in as a grandmother and no one likes me anyhow.(Translation: I am never going to be good enuff)

Anything to create a crisis or drama and maybe get some attention or push poeple away. Ugh.
False humility is as bad as pride. Both are ego driven and I have one huge ego in the way.
Too bad I don't know how to live a ordinary, stable, normal paced, not crisis driven life. But its way boring! And I am soooo unique!
Ready, set, Lets stir it up.

On the other hand, I could drive to the Lehigh Valley for the weekend, see some friends ( Can't wait for a KC hug!), enjoy Helena's birthday party(she's 2!!!) because it is for her and I am a good grandmother for her and if my sister shows up and doesn't speak to me then thats her loss and I don't have to care how I look to my ex and his new wife and I am a child of God who loves me and I have a husband who is a very good man who loves me and is good to me and there are many who do enjoy my company and Leslie said if I bring her chocolate (its already packed!) this weekend then she will give me clean sheets to sleep on. Oh dear, life really can be good. Even an ordinary not eventful not craving for excitement kind of life--it can be very good and I don't know how to do it. But I will give it a go, give it my best and see if I can be gentle kind and loving like I really can be. Hell, its only for a weekend.