thursday's tummy ache

Doing a training tonite with 2 men I've only recently met. One a gentle giant, organized and communicative the other arrogant and has nothing prepared. So it goes--

Other thing I'm upset about is watching someone go back out whether its a drink, a drug or a bottle with 2 legs its all the same self will run riot that I am powerless over. It is their stuff not mine I know I know but its painful to watch poeple I care for crash and burn. Still trying to not make it about me and not feel the lonliness that comes with it. This one had real potential to stick and change it up. But then rigorous honesty and taking directions for a new design for living is never a simple task. Besides look at me and how I've fought the battle of self will for almost 5 years. I just put it down, the fight that is. I'm sure glad to still be doing this thing. My sponsor could have walked from me many times I was a real pill.

Well, I know what to do---reach out to newcomers and to those who are doing this thing. I was taught to stick with the winners and meeting makers make it---

oh how blessed I am to have found a reliance on God.

onto the adventure of Thursday and reminding myself this arrogant so and so and his lack is not a reflection on me and what I do. Ya know, that's a lesson I wish I'd had when I was married to Brad. No regrets now tho I'm sooo grateful to have made amends with him before Lonny died and have a freedom inside about him and compassion.

ok NOW onto the rest of today. Unfortunately my stomach still aches.