2 days later
I am still waiting patiently to see if I get a call for a 2nd interview. Surprised at how not anxious I'm able to be these days.
Finally I'm willing to stay put somewhere instead of always looking for a way out, somewhere to cut n run to. $ is good, its important, it gives me the ability to be of service but life isn't all about $. I never really seem to know where or why my God has me where I am.
I'd been warned last week that no one signed up to do the topic for this week and I should come with a skirt on because I might be asked to speak. Praying that I just do what I've been taught and be honest. Cause this sure is a group of people I want to look good for--- my ego can so get in the way of the message sometimes. Lots of newcomers show up at this meeting.
And then again I always seem to be wanting to have a different story than i have. In my fantasy story my son Lonny lives, recovers, marries, has lots of healthy babies and finds that freedom inside that I and God wanted for him to have. In my story he and I and others who love him watched him destroy his life with alcohol and drugs for 7 years and then die at age 24. I want another story.
Maybe I woon't have to tell it today. Maybe I can tell it the way God would have me tell it and others find my ESH in it to encourage them to reach for recovery and God.
One foot in front of another.
LGLG.
Its not about me, its about God working in my life.
I can only tell my story, not his or his or hers.
I have recovery thru the Steps and can talk about that.
I have a solution today and don't have to stay in the problems any more.
There is hope in the rooms of AA NA and AlAnon
there is hope
posted by Mama Dukes @ 9:02 AM
7 Comments:
Keep on Keeping on. Lovely post Christine and good luck with ya talk. Pray before :) but ya know that already. An yep theres always hope, service is hope for the newcomer too
Ya know, I just wanted to say that you are beautiful from the inside-out, the clothes don't matter so much!
I remember speaking and having the urge to embellish to make me sound more interesting! In the end I just said a short prayer beforehand, asking Him to give me the words to say...
Love ya lots!
Life gives us our stories and then we just have to do the best that we can. I have wanted to run many times but now I realize that no matter how far I run, I'll always be there.
I just remembered the 18 meetings required of me from a DWI years ago and how much the speakers had an impact on me. For newcomers especially, it makes a huge difference to hear someone's story, as painful as it is to tell. You can feel the pain and you want to change. I'm sorry for your struggle. Have a peaceful night.
my sponsee just called me, she got SO much hope from hearing someones story tonight... she needed to hear the depths some of us go to before we reach bottom. tell it like it is was, its all Good
I'm waiting to hear about the job too! I know you wish your story were different...I wish you could be the person you are today...by some other method than the pain of your history.
Hi Gorgeous,
I so love how you turn things around and venture to take a healing perspective.
Sending you my love.
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