a Friday
Sometimes my job is not so pleasant. A home visit the other day was just awful. The family should have left the mom in 24 hour care but they took her home. I am so blessed to have a practicing knowledge of detachment. But I also have the means to solutions in this case and today we, the social worker mostly, fixed it. This was the first time I've been involved in an APS--Adult Protective Services--call. They are the ones with the power to make things happen.
So now I'm considering since I keep coming back and back to working in social services---it might be time to look into using that benefit my job will give me of free educational $. I don't and never wanted to be a social worker but it sure appears to be the path I've been on the longest. I am busy. I don't have to kill myself to get the degree. I just have to begin somewhere.
Deaths seem to come in 3's. Today I got a call about a woman who has lived with ovarian cancer until she can't anymore. Such sweet memories I have of her and of her husband too. I'm grateful he found AA and she Alanon so these last years of hers could be so much more loving and tender. What a loss...
Its raining today. I'm off for the afternoon. And for the weekend.
This is the month my nephew died in 2004. Lonny made a tremendous effort to get to the funeral. I knew you needed to see me Mom he told me. He was right I did have that need. It was the last time I saw him alive. I gave him his Christmas presents at the end of our visit that i hadn't been able to give him at Christmas. He was bone thin and I had to work my program like my life depended on it. It didn't save him. Nothing I could have done or tried to do could have saved him. It was the only time he held Helena in his arms.
Oh I am so sad so powerless so sad for the losses
There will be more. I am of an age now where death is so much a part of life. I don't fear it like I used to. But I get so damn sad at how short life can be and how so many don't live. Newcomer last night at the meeting cried thru out the meeting. GOt her number. Guess I'll give her a call. Betcha she gives me hope. Those newcomers, they always seem to. And they don't know they are...giving me what I need, the hope and the power to stay out of bed feeling sorry for myself today.
Hope you have a Friday to enjoy.
posted by Mama Dukes @ 2:35 PM
1 Comments:
Today I found out a former co-worker's 17-year old daughter has bone cancer. I was just mentioning to someone today, how it is hard to get older seeing more car crashes, deaths, etc. Once I was diagnosed with cancer, I was always hearing about people who have it. Some of them did not make it....they were in their 40s, etc. and all too young. Some of them were in treatment at the same time as me. My cousin, who has survived Leukemia, said she knows she was saved because her son needs her. I have felt that also...I can't go now because my sons need me. But what about another co-worker who had the same cancer as me, at the same time as me? She died at 37 with 3 children, two of them young twins. It is hard and we have a right to mourn all of the losses in our lives, as long as we move on.
I'm digging through my Alanon pamphlets and it looks like there are a few books I need to get. Here's something from Just For Today.
"I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my 'luck' as it comes, and fit myself to it."
Thanks for your help with the program. I am learning more from the blogs than the meetings, although I enjoy going to them.
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