Need sump thin'

I'm having trouble sleeping tonite. Its late. I worked hard today. Played hard last night (but did not win). It is bothering me again. The lack in my meetings. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just being self rigteous or some other characer defect. I just want somebody in my meetings who is doing what I do. I know I've been told to do what I do, be an example, it doesn't matter what the others are doing or not doing, some may take even take potshots at me. It only matters what I am doing. Its a lonely place to be sometimes. I told B I miss her company and I miss her getting in the car with me and I sure do. She fired me oh about a year ago or maybe more. She said she misses me too. According to how she shares she has a sponsor again. And walking in late to meetings again.

I chaired the meeting tonite. Oh God I'd rather be in an AA meeting anytime. Maybe I'm just a judgemental bitch. Maybe I am in a great big fat denial of where I am in recovery.

Got my invite for the Big Book Study in NY in June. Their recovery program is where I get filled up. June is a long time from now. Chick to Chick in October. Guess I have to keep traveling. I envy those who have a fellowship of like minded...

I did hope that one woman at the rehab yesterday might show up tonite. And hey Syd--we got a transplant from WA. It was awesome to hear her. She came early, helped set up, stayed late, welcomed the newcomer, thanked the chair, shared her E,S,H. Hope she comes back.

I know its not all bad here. I feel badly. Feelings aren't facts. Just feelings.
I need to get some sleep somehow.