wednesday late but wired

I don't know why so wired. Not sure I have much to say.

Maybe I'm angry. I so seldom get angry I usually get resentful but anger is different somehow. Most of my life the significant people have accused me of not telling them something. You know how it goes--the why didn't you tell me that. Well, I was certain I did tell them, were they listening? Maybe they didn't hear me cause they wer caught up in their own stuff. Maybe they are right and I didn't tell 'em whatever it was.

Guess I'll let it go. I heard Vannoy tell us that if we are right we don't have to defend it and if we are wrong I can't defend it.

Nope, not letting it go just yet. They are significant people--it doesn't happn with eveyone--ok, 3 in particular--am I being passive aggressive and don't tell them things? Yes it seems to matter. Can't seem to shake it loose.

I know what to do. Pray for the obessive thoughts to be removed. For the anger to be removed since 'anger is best left to those who...' and thats not me I know--

Good meeting tonite--he is really suffering and not understandng enabling--it is a tough concept.

Back to trying to defend--I used to write everything down on a calendar, in notebooks, wherever so I could put it under his nose and say see I'm right. Oh geez being right uzdtab so important. Is it still? Is it that I have to be right and she is wrong? Am I always so damn black & white? Still chewing--so this isn't working, onto knees and try something else--damn character defects--