mellow monday

I started relaxing on Saturday afternoon. All the committees did or were doing their tasks and the conference was flowing fairly well. I get lotsa atta boys but I did some chewing on at least two aw shits. I used 2 longtimers and 1 dear friend who just went over to AA from Alanon as whatcha might call touchstones. When I was in a quandry about something or didn't know how to fix a mistake---oh yeah I made a bunch mistakes and forgot a few things ---they helped me by letting me sound it out, made suggestionsand helped me see my part in the situation. I did some swallowing of things that were hard to hear or accept but I kept breathing. Most mistakes were fixable and all I hope forgiveable. Some simply weren't about me or the conference and I had to let it go. Oh, I did lotsa praying--and I know others were in touch with their God for me and the conference.

My newest sponsee here got scooped up and loved up by the PA gang and wow-- it sure is wonder full to see the light go on in her eyes.

I really don't like it when people don't like me. And some really don't. Some tho really do and I felt more loved up than worried about how to make those who don't like me to like me cause I really can't. Besides those loving me kept me busy.Do you know there were 243 people watching my example? Wow. I did my best to keep ego in check, not play the big shot and just participate. A couple people told me they liked my humor and willingness to laugh at myself.

Sunday morning I was walking to the hospitality building for a cup o tea and to begin the day checking on what might need doing. I took an unfamiliar path so I was watching where I was to step next in the misty morning. I found a small battered jigsaw puzzle piece. Took two steps past it then thought wait a minute---look at that and what it means!

See, I've been fighting being a part of WV and refusing to bloom here where I'm planted. And in the first hours of the conference I had trouble finding balance with my program babies and others I love so from Allentown/Bethlehem PA and my loving fellowship here in WV. I felt torn for the first time. I spoke to Helen, someone I dearly love and loves me about it. She was so kind--she told me to go ahead and spend time wih my PA family because my WV family gets to have me all the time. Well, thats what I heard her say. And everytime I went to her or Rosie they listened and guided me kindly. Roni kept me going back to what did I believe might be God's Will?

Anyway--the puzzle piece. I am a piece of the puzzle. I am a part of the whole. I am not better than or less than, I am no longer a part from, I am only a part of BUT I sure am a part!

The speakers were wonderfully honest and talked about change. I appreciated AA's example with some things. Our theme was Winds of Change. The Alateens touched our hearts like none others can. We had a little spiritual meeting Sat nite before the dance. And we danced and danced! Ok, I could only manage to dance bout an hour--I sure was beat. But not beat up.

It was a great many growing lessons-- I am grateful the conference is over and I never have to do that again. We'll have a wrap up meeting next month and pass on what worked for us and what didn't go so well--man I hope I never have to do registration--not everyone is patient loving or kind-- angry people still scare me-- yikes I better watch what I resist so I don't get asked to do it!!

Hope your weekend was wonderful and you find yourself filled with hope for your today.