grief and joy

"Happiness ground in realiy is far deeper than that built upon fantasy, and suffering teaches one that happiness can catch person unawares in the midst of deprivation and desolation. There is a certain stripping away of the externals which makes one more sensitive to joy as well as sorow."

All my life I have defined happiness/joy differently than I do today. It was always 'as soon as' I have this or that or when this person approves or when I attain this or that. Its not about what I can get from you or anyone else. Its not about acheiving or acquiring. Joy is found in the moments. The fog burning off, the deer's white tail as she leaves the trail to go back into the wood, its the being able to fall asleep easily without dread or worry hanging heavy on my heart, its being able to know that all I need to do is kep putting one foot in front of the other doing what is next that joy shows up and I can be surprised and delighted.

There is no more searchfor the illusive happiness. It does not exist for me any longer. I'm done trying to be happy. Today I seek the calm within and allow what comes in my path to delight---delight.