Ma Dukes

Doin' all I can do to enjoy today.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

birthdays

I didn't go to Janet's birthday party. My out loud reasons were that it is at his ex wife's house with his ex wife's family and I am uncomfortable. I even was believing it myself until I was alone in the house, cleaning the kitchen which doesn't engage my mind with the tasks.

Then it hit me. And out started pouring my resentment. I have been here in WV for how many years? And how many birthdays has anyone else around here other than my darling hubby paid attention to? How many parties have I given for him? FOr my step daughter? And how many cards, presents or even phone calls have they made to or for me? And who had a birthday just this week without a card, phone call or present from her son or step daughters?

Ahhh...it does hurt. But I don't have to dwell there any longer. I can let it go. I don't need to condemn, criticize or look for a revenge. I can write about it here. I can pray for them. I can pray for me to be the parent God wants me to be.

And I can take a look at all the times I have been selfish and self centered in my life when it came to my parents and grandparents. I don't believe this is a payback for those times. Its just a see, its how young people are who are busy living thier own lives.

Its just how it is. Instead of how I'd like it to be.

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