Ma Dukes

Doin' all I can do to enjoy today.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

its a Thursday

So I'm wondering today how this has happened that I really haven't made any friends here in WV? I have plenty of acquaintances. But no one to hang out with except darling man hubby. He's a great sport and a good friend I suppose. No girl friends tho.

I wonder whats happened to me that I feel so closed down closed inward.
I did have a couple of AA women I hung out with for a bit. Until one got a boyfriend or until another got mad at me for not participating in the drama. And some Al Anon women i do care for but they aren't in the same town as me and its not as simple to hang out. Or we don't share interests... or damn I just don't know

Could it be my total reluctance to immerse myself in being here in WV? After all these years here it still does not feel like home. I still after all this time still just want to go home. I want to be closer to my family friends CULTURE a farmers market.

I ahve no good reason to leave hubby. And I don't really want to leave him. And I have a great job. Just this horrible lingering discontent. Some believe I wouldn't be hapy no matter where I was. Might be tru Might not be true anymore. I certainly was true at one time--

I'm lonely. I've tried so hard here to participate to initiate
Whining again. Stopping whining now

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