on a Saturday afternoon

Yesterday evening I returned a call from the 1st. She had called for a ride to the Friday night speaker meeting from New Beginnings 1/2 way house. I asked if she needed a ride tonite and she said can I take 3 ot them? Turned out to be 4 when I got over there with my ID, registration and insurance. I have room, all wheel drive AND snow tires so no problem--

Doors locked and no lights when we got to the meeting. They suggested they go to the NA meeting over by the house. They invited me to come along. I've never been to an NA meeting before. Ever. Oh man was it rough for me. They read from their book, the first chapter and I heard my son's disease. I looked around the room. OMG they are so young Lord. And I'm the only non addict in the room. What can I do? How can I help them? WHy am I here tonite? How can I get out of here so I don't start sobbing?

Oh, now I am hearing about me and my disease as they open the meeting to anyone who wants to share. One young woman who is going all the way back to the beginning even tho she didn't slip by using but her behaviors have slipped and she knows she is in trouble. A young man just back in meetings after yet another detox visit saying he knows what happened, he got complacent and thought he didn't need to go to more than a meeting or two a week since he's been clean a couple years and his life is on track. The he thought he could use a little...but of course he couldn't just use a little.

So seems I heard what I need to hear. I need to get back to the things I used to do that worked and stop thinking my life is so good and I really don't need to alwys pray on my knees, or call any newcomers( not that we have many) or call any old timers while my sponsor is out of town and touch, or read my books or make up a meeting since I missed mine or go looking bery hard for a meeting while I am out of town.

Back to the beginning so I don't have to go back to the life I used to have instead of the life I have today.