Another Thursday

Closing dates have been changed and we still don't know when any will take place. It will all happen, I'm not panicking. We are mostly moved in, some furniture will be delivered tomorrow. We got this very cool table & chairs called a gathering something table.

Did not get the job at Soup Opera. Wonder what the next adventure will be? Perhaps I am exactly where I am supposed to be for now?

Got to the Doc about my arm and shoulder. MRI next Friday. So far frozen shoulder & carpal tunnel in my wrist. He thinks there may be soft tissue damage in my shoulder & thats why I stopped using it. But we'll see. I am constantly telling them all that there was no injury that I know of. Last January when I hit the bridge seems like a lifetime ago.

Could it be that the numbness physically, spiritually and emotionally have all worn off now? Is that why I am in so much pain about Lonny's death now, a different kind of pain and grief from the early days right after his dying. I still find myself with magical thinking that he's not really dead and I'll hear from him soon.

I hurt. My arm hurts all the time and so does my heart. I'm grateful my depression is not too big and allows me to get out of bed and walk around. I'm not sure how much good I am to anyone tho. I sure am looking forward to seeing my brothers, if they can get here. I hope they do. And a birthday. I might really be 52 but I'm staying at 50 for the rest of my life. I hear 50's are the new 30's. Yeah.

Oh here's my horoscope for today:
Capricorn
December 21 - January 19Discard those items from the past for which you really have no use anymore. Much as you like to surround yourself with objects of sentimental value, the time comes when it is necessary to look to the future, rather than dwell on the past. Time spent cleaning up and throwing out will release you from the past and allow you to embrace the future.

Ok, KC and the universe--I'll let the "stuff" go!