Wednesday today

Bike ride on the rail trail last evening. Can't push past the 10 mile mark yet. River peaceful, muddy from all the rain we've had lately. Brillant Indigo Bunting followed us a while. Quiet. Calming.
The trains used to run thru the area carrying coal. You can see where homes most have once stood cause of the trees adn flowers that show up along the way. A shock of yellow Iris or a beauty of a dogwood. There's a chimney that is all that remains fo someone's home from long ago. Theres some timy places still housing someone but gotta wonder how they get there--

At doc this morning-- blood pressure good, real good. I mentioned my weight again only to have her smile and shrug her shoulders. Says she wants me to be healthy. she did ask me if I was breathing hard on my bike rides. No, thinking isn't that great! I'm a non smoker and in great lung shape! Only to have her suggest doing something to get my heart rate up and breathe hard. Oh and using weights would be a good thing too. The weight I'd like to bear is a 2 year old whose name is Helena. I love to have her look me in the eyes and say up. I miss her.

Ok so eating healthy and moving my body some is good but--- man I wish my knees were younger, I'd try running again. Instead I'll try finding time to fit in using some weights on the trampoline into my day. Be good to get this shoulder taken care of, manipulation scheduled for next month.

Learning to see the triggers for the grief turning into blackness. I'd been wwarned the 2nd year could be worse than the first. I didn't expect to get blindsided by what looks like something else to really be grief instead. My MO is to cut n run from reality when reality sucks. Theres got to be another way to cope with the sadness. I've got to be grateful the blackness I find myself in doesn't last as long nor go as deep as it once did. Now if I could see it for what it is instead of blaming WV. I do have choices/ options. But leaving WV is not one of 'em.

Party Saturday housewarming/open house and Grandbaby Lily will be staying over with her parents this weekend for a night. She's crawling now. It will be fun to have her to ourselves for a bit. We usually have to share her with all the other relatives when they come in for brief visits. Should be fun to see who she is---Lily.

Heading to Milwaukee for work conference early June. Can get to Allentown for 4th of July weekend. WV lacks some things but I am blessed to be able to travel.

And hey--theres a new Farmers Mrkt coming here to town!! So--thats gotten the wheels turning on opening an Amish bakery stand, a cheese stand and oh to have fresh fruits and veggies at a reasonable price sound so so wonderful. Hope it works.